My greatest strength, though, lies outside of combat in the arena known as “conversation”.
Seriously, I’ve played for around 30 hours now and haven’t lost a single chat skillcheck.
It’s got to the point where it’s actually a bit silly.
Deception to my orc is to do a big war cry and coat the person opposite with spittle.
Our elves and drows and orcs occasionally slip up.
One of the Dans doesn’t care for the story at all, really.
So much so, it feels like each conversation is an easy ride towards each character’s true ending.
I get security clearance.
A horn I can blow to call in backup, free of charge.
The keys to the manor.
I am Adrian Chiles' Guardian column, I simply don’t miss.
I am DJ Khaled reclining on a matte black Ford Mustang, all I do is win.
And what’s even better is not learning from each loss.
Losing makes for funnier stories and more dramatic retellings down the pub with your mates.
Who wants a bard who only sings of success, eh?
