Vampirate diaries, part II
Avast, me hearty bowls of soup!
to write that.)
(I really should find out what avast actually means.)
Im afraid you dont get a say in the matter, sunshine, because this is videogames.
Fighting Jenkins means facing the emasculating truth that I, a gun pirate, am actually outgunned.
Hes got mortars, plus a cannon, plus some pistol chaps.
On the right, I send my bats on a mission to take out Jenkins cannons.
The sacrificial bats gets munched, but Id say it was a fine trade.
We can always build more killbats.
Despite hightailing it out of Ulthuan, Tyrion has caught up with us.
Hes stacked with elven archers, some of the deadliest and most skilled bowman in the world.
Also, cannon beats bow.
We cant all be magical elves, pal, some of us pay taxes.
Not me of course; Im a pirate.
I suppose I already ruined any immersive qualities by saying save scum.
I meant, uh, reverse time.
Still, not doing it.
Turn 23, and were safely out of Ulthuan.
And look who it is!
We grab Queen Bess and some assorted zombies, do some housekeeping, and get stuck in.
What a fine selection of raised dead weve got!
They barely touch our frontline, and we end the battle with seven friendly losses to 1300 enemy casualties.
One of the losses was a mortar, though, so Im still pissed off.
Itsturn 24, and Ive got a dilemma.
I want to go pirate hunting, but I cant leave Ulthuan as powerful as it is.
Theyll take the Graveyard as soon as we leave.
On the north of donut island is daemon Nkari, one of the elves main early game threats.
Make the sails do the flappy thing that gets us places quicker.
Meanwhile, I reckon weve got time to siege the elves down a bit.
Elsewhere, a friendly beastman wreaks havoc on their land.
Thank you, cowpal, very cool.
Turn 28, and we raze the city for a nice chunk of cash and infamy.
The cash is good, because were currently making but a single gold piece a turn.
Nkari doesnt want to be mates yet, so weve got some more elf killing to do.
Meanwhile, at the Graveyard, Alastar is closing in.
Henrietta blows on the bat whistle, summoning many, many bats, and awaits his attack.
OnTurn 29, Alastar sieges us, and Tyrion isnt too far behind.
Thats him dealt with, at least.
Henrietta pops on Amazon to order a wound-licking monkey, but delivery is six to eight weeks.
‘Why am I paying for Prime for then?!
ItsTurn 30, andTyrion has scarpered.
Should have ordered that monkey after all.
At Ulthuan meanwhile, Noctilus needs some replenishment.
I’m usually quite tolerant to rats, but this particular rat is on our kill list.
Unfortunately, he’s also stacked with nasty Skaven artillery.
Will we send these rats scurrying like, uh, hamsters from a collapsing rollercoaster?
Will we make it to Nkari in time to save them?
Will we ever, ever touch grass under any circumstances?
