You see, I have a terrible habit inRPGsof stuffing my pockets with absolutely everything I can find.

Not to much effect, mind.

Nothing was really that much better than what I already had.

A withered corpse man from Baldur’s Gate 3

So I resolved to do better and resist temptation.

As soon as you do this, though, trouble starts.

The ensuing fight wasn’t my finest hour.

A withered corpse man asks the player a question in a dank crypt in Baldur’s Gate 3

GOSH DARN DANGIT,Baldur’s Gate.

It’s always the way, isn’t it?

I basically turn into Gollum when I play these games, so takethat,relentlessly horny Gale…

An inventory screen in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, showing orc armour

Bet you aren’t so keen on my half-elf monknow, are you, precious?

Ah, sweet victory.