That’s according to a song from his latest album: “Richer Than I Ever Been”.
Limgrave is way bigger than I first thought.
Here’s what I found.
Things kicked off much the same as last time.
As character creation still wasn’t available, I selected the Prisoner, one a few new preset classes.
If anything, it felt tougher than last time.
Early on, I returned to Limgrave’s catacombs.
I could visualise the glint of each loot drop.
And yet I got floored repeatedly.
This meant that if they landed only a few hits, I’d explode in squelch of red.
And what do you know?
The ability to wander off in any direction never gets old.
Limgrave is sprawling, with plenty of horrors lurking over hills and nestled in ditches.
Its outer edges expand further than you’d think.
You never know what’s ahead.
One time I ducked behind boulders as an ancient titan bombarded me with arrows the size of cows.
No, entry could cost your life, mate.
NPCs were keen to avoid any cow-sized arrows, letting us do the legwork instead.
As you’d expect, the dialogue was wonderfully written, and the voice-acting retained that delightful echo-in-a-cavern sound.
And yet they felt surprisingly overt.
At least in this early portion of Elden Ring, both NPCs made their requests very clear.
You were to go here and do this thing, godspeed.
Cut to a castle overrun with harpies sporting Attack On Titan flesh-monster faces.
They kneel on a pile of corpses and raise their machetes to the sky in unison.
They celebrate a victory of some sort, as one victim smoulders on a cross.
Later, tight alleyways and deathly drops lead to an optional boss.
Part lion, part man, he wields a massive greatsword.
He reminds me of Artorias, in the way he pirouettes and leaps into the air with ease.
And in much the same way, there’s no room to think with this guy.
He’ll blast through your shield.
Stand still and risk impalement.
Colossal bears scratch bark off trees, then they lunge at you.
Not to mention that time I encountered some worms.
Yes, worms constructed of rocky spheres and with purple eyes.
They were docile too, a rarity in Limgrave.
Some stood erect, while others slithered about doing their thing.
Then I discovered that they’d surrounded a large basin with a mysterious crest in its centre.
“Enter evergaol?”
Next thing I know, I’m standing in the same basin but the world has gone black.
Walls of rushing air prevent my escape.
There’s this strange purple glow in a patch of grass, so I approach it cautiously.
It seems out place in Limgrave.
Then a Bloodhound Knight emerges from the undergrowth.
Again, he’s not friendly.
He’s got a curved sword and crawls along the ground on all fours, ready to pounce.
Other little discoveries await if you take the time to explore.
A little goblin statue holding a book said, “Seek three wise beasts”.
Turns out you have to hunt three hidden animals to enter a nearby magic tower.
Another time, I inserted a Stonesword Key into a nearby statue.
It’s frightening, hearing that rumble grow closer.
Oh, and there’s a boss down there alright.
A gigantic lizardy-thing, covered in boils and lesions.
It writhes and hurls itself at you with real unpredictability.
Nope, didn’t so much as scratch it.
One I said I’d come back to later.
Knights and priests are gathered here, offering you conversation and aid.
And someone who hugged me and gave me a buff?
A land ravaged by red and white spores, with residents that shuffled and exploded in flame.
Elden Ring is shaping up to be the perfect pub game.
“Then…and THEN!”
is what this game prompts.
I can’t wait to discover more.
