Big Bother

I’m not much of a reality TV watcher.

The “flower” group are landscape lovers who are thirstier for posh shrubbery than people.

And “sexy seekers”, of course, are partial to footage of butts and people making out.

A scene of three characters interacting by the poolside in The Crush House

That’s your day-to-day.

Again, you’re not allowed to talk to the talent, but does that apply after hours?

The talent don’t think so.

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They may have feedback and suggestions, perhaps with a view to building their own brands.

Bare-chested lothario Emile might request that you capture him snogging somebody with only his face in view.

Wholesome prude Charlie might ask you to avoid filming below waist level.

A scene of a circular pink table with purple armchairs in The Crush House, with a video screen showing a ghastly advert for “dogmilk” in the bottom right

“They’re not actors,” says He.

Perhaps needless to say, there’s a mystery at the heart of the Crush House.

It boils down to a couple of questions.

A scene of two characters embracing in The Crush House, with live comments reactions down the righthand side

And secondly: what’s in the basement below your office?

And it’s interesting to have a glimpse into other people’s lives or whatever'.

“And now, everyone’s like ‘this is all fake, right?'”

What is this person’s real motivation for being here?"

It seems like a thankless, degrading line of work.

But The Crush House is also profoundly ugly in ways not lightyears away from Santa Ragione’s otherwise dissimilarHorses.