It Takes Two 2

Brendan:Hello, Nic.

Why are you here, in my review?

What is this, some kind ofSplit Fiction?

The two player’s reach out for each other’s hands as Zoe is about to fall.

Some kind ofco-opadventure by Hazelight?

Fine, since you’re here: what’s the best bit of Split Fiction, Brendy?

Brendan:We were escaping sci-fi gunships on the back of a stolen motorcycle.

Zoe rides a motorbike as a spaceship shoots at her, while Mio uses a phone to do a captcha.

You must have felt cool steering us between missiles and gunfire.

I could see none of that.

I was too focused on clicking the “accept” box on a Terms and Conditions screen.

The two players are pigs, the left player is watching a giant sow sleep while the right player’s body is coiled as a spring.

I laughed the whole time.

Nic:My favourite bit involved pigs.

Then we fell through a meat grinder and popped out as sausages.

Mio and Zoe rest on jetskis while wearing sci-fi armour.

Brendan:I didn’t like that bit.

Although it did make me hungry.

Let me explain the basic set-up before we get deeper into it.

The two players shoot red and blue cogs to close a door on a large robot’s head.

Two unpublished writers meet at a big shady company’s experimental brain scanning session.

What a good idea for a videogame.

Brendan:It’s “video game”.

The left player looks at a huge ornate door while the right-hand player toys with the lock mechanism as a shrunken fairy.

I think you said you the pig party was “too much whimsy” for you.

There were also two whimsical pigs grilling a third whimsical pig on a whimsical spit.

But those almost Amanita-style bits stood out for me because much of the game felt traditional and restrained.

The players do a dance off with the monkey king. One of the players is an ape and the other is a giant tree.

Mio’s troubles bleed into her cyberpunk debt story.

Zoe’s childhood memories are a constant source of fantasy twee.

My Ape had to stomp down flowers to clear a path for your fairy to fly through.

The player pilot spaceships in a side-scrolling shooter, fighting a bobble robot.

Only sometimes instead of ladder you’re getting hurled across rooftops inside a portaloo.

I do not think it is a game for either of us - Warhammer McFadden and Tekken O’Hara.

But I did laugh a surprising amount at the slapstick nature of many deaths.

Mio rides a red dragon that glides in the sky as Zoe’s dragon rolls along the ground smashing crystals.

It’s all downhill from there because none of them are actually that tasty.

Brendan:It is definitely a novelty parade.

Look, you’re in a R-punch in style shmup now.

No wait, a family-friendly platformer with pigs.

Scratch that, now you’ve gotta blast through a multi-phase Metroid-style boss encounter.

It plays with gravity-shifting, and the portals of, uh Portal.

It is sometimes a very traditional third-person shooter.

You once remarked there’s a definite God Of War 2 flavour to some bosses.

There are also many sections where you swing between grapple points while things collapse around you.

Brendan:On top of this, it is full of watery references to other games and media.

It’s a very accessible like-as-many-dweebs-as-possible game.

Nic:Ah, The Deku tree.

This was a big old-faced oak in one of Zoe’s stories.

Brendan:Ah yes, a leaf tree.

Like a fur cat.

Or a rock stone.

Why not Garth Marenghi them or something?

But Mio and Zoe are simply by-the-numbers scribes trapped in a by-the-numbers story (inside another by-the-numbers story).

Nic:There are definiteAlan Wakeby way of Mr. Men morality vibes to the whole thing.

Also, I in no way co-sign Brendy’s assertion that I am a “real writer”.

Is that part of the joke?

Or have a deathmatch.

You could retract spikes and extend platforms.

Anyway, I think we’ve dissected this quite a lot now.

I got the feeling you were growing tired of our misadventures at a faster rate than I was.

And that disparity is never a good thing when it comes to couch co-op games like this.

But we both came to the agreement that, eh, it’s not our bag.

It’s a joy facilitator, rather than a joy generator.

A fun bridge, not a fun spout.

(Remember when you said I was a real writer?)

Brendan:I stand by it.

You would never call an oak a “leaf tree”.

Nic:I believe it’s written ‘leaftree’ actually.

This review is based on a review build provided by the publisher.