Do I seem embittered?
Im happy for Sonic, honestly.
A Metacritic in the 70s!
He may as well have been kissed on the nips by Jesus Christ himself.
Sonic looks east, he looks west.
And he sees grind rails.
Hes free, you see.
And so am I.
Free from giving the slightest toss about this stupid, rubbish series for undemanding children.
No, Im not bitter.
Oh, for Gods sake, of course I’m bitter.
What the hell is Sonic Frontiers, anyway?
Its blinkin, bleedin Assassins Creed, isnt it?
This is what people want from Sonic!
This is what makes them cheer!
To see him to fall in line.
For him to be boring.
Frontiers isn’t a total failure as a game, of course.
Repeating the same actions and making Sonic incrementally more powerful is the usual open-world dopamine.
Thats the most destructive problem with Sonic Frontiers: everything you do ultimately makes the game more boring.
This technique is working, of course.
People are saying Frontiers is the best Sonic game in years.
The Sonic fanbase is vehemently post-truth, and has been since the Sega Saturn was a thing.
Cosmically, it of course doesnt matter in the slightest that Sonic has at last shaken me off.
The series is free to do what it wants, and has finally found a formula with broader appeal.
