bwl
I put olives in my bolognese.
Olives, objectively, do not belong in a bolognese.
Dont mind if I do.
My bolognese is about as authentically Italian as Super Mario, but it doesnt matter.
Im not trying to make Massimo Bottura cry by reminding him of his nonnas cooking.
Its a dreary Tuesday night and Im craving my olive-laden concoction.
Im making this bolognese just for me.
Slayers X: Terminal Aftermath: Vengance of the Slayerreminded me a lot of my bolognese.
Its a game created for particular tastes, a unique proposition that sort of defies conventional thinking.
A big, bold swing that - if you have the palate for it - is absolutely brilliant.
Except, Slayers X isnt just a straightforward shooter based on the world of Hypnospace.
So what we have here is not just a simple spin-off, then.
Enemies are school book doodles come to life.
Grinning assassins rocking a classic trench coat no shirt combo.
Screeching floating brains wearing fetching jester hats.
Piles of poo that perish with a sad fart.
Werewolves in jorts wielding rocket launchers.
Green goo lines the streets.
Weapons clearly prioritise appearance over functionality.
A grenade launcher that spawns friendly rats.
A shotgun that shoots loose shards of glass.
The game is riddled with spelling errors.
Zanes one-liners are built primarily on the foundations of the word turds and your mom jokes.
Zane, like many of us were at his age, is a kid with a very narrow worldview.
There is no in-between.
You are either fighting Psykos at the Boise Potato Festival or infiltrating their super secret lair.
Enormous mansions with featureless interiors.
Is this a depiction of a reality he exists within, or one hes merely imagined?
None of this is explicitly acknowledged, mind.
Thats kind of the beauty of it.
The only exception to this is Melvin, teenage Zanes manager who also serves as the games antagonist.
Theres a tinge of concern and sadness behind Melvins villainous depiction that I’m sure many will find relatable.
Theres no ill intent here, just a nostalgic honesty that really resonates.
And as a throwback retro-inspired shooter, it sings.
Weapons feel weighty, enemy variety keeps things challenging, maps are looping and stuffed full of secrets.
I dont make my bolognese for guests very often, but when I do opinions are often mixed.
Not for everyone, then.
But you’re free to get an authentic bolognese anywhere.
Isnt it worth making one with olives in it just because that suits your specific tastes?
