(You wouldn’t do that to me, would you, Alice?)

Romancelvania is exactly what it sounds like: dating sim meets Castlevania.

No idea if I’ve succeeded or failed.

The store page image for Romancelvania, showing Drac and a selection of his love interests against a gothic backdrop featuring a castle, the full moon, and bats in flight.

What follows is a bonkers descent into one of my absolute favourite game genres: a dating sim mashup.

It took me a whole weekend of thinking about it to make my choice.

It’s not that I have no complaints about Romancelvania.

Cover image for YouTube video

The tutorials could definitely stand to be better implemented, for one thing.

But actually, in a way, that just added to the nostalgia.

We’re all adults here, or at least that’s clearly the idea.

The character selection screen in Romancelvania, showing a shirtless male Drac and an only slightly less shirtless female Drac against the background of a looming gothic castle and grim purple sky.

Article image

Character art for the dateable option Vess in Romancelvania. She’s purple-haired genie in a revealing cut-off t-shirt and with legs that disappear into a wisp of smoke.

Character art for the dateable option Brocifer in Romancelvania. A muscular red demon with blonde hair, tattoos, and no clothes (except for some light pixellation) stands against a background of cartoon beer mugs.

On the set of the titular dating show, the Grim Reaper urges Dracula to deliver a Black Rose and eliminate one potential love interest from the contest.