His routine is the same each time.
He quickly turns off his alarm.
He goes out through the bedroom door, and along the hall, to his office.
He sits back in his chair, and he gets high.
In the last nine months, Gaurav has spent 2,000 on his secret addiction.
He admits to a total spend over eight years of more than double that.
That is, 4,250 is the amount he admits to when talking to me hes never told his family.
But Gaurav isnt addicted to drugs, or alcohol or even online poker.
Loot boxes are nothing new, of course.
For those who have never played Ultimate Team, packs function as you would expect.
You might get Lionel Messi.
But you probably wont.
When you do get someone good, you get really high.
Like,highhigh, Gaurav explains to me from his home in Dresden, Germany.
His calm demeanour falters, just for a second.
Gaurav does not seem like someone who has a large part of his life consumed by addiction.
Hes charming and engaging.
Originally from Nepal, he made Dresden his home in 2013 and became a software engineer.
Now in his mid-thirties, he lives a comfortable life with his family.
He plays football with friends.
He thinks Arsenal fans are arrogant.
When I called him he was putting off work by packing.
After our conversation he went to go and pick up his son from kindergarten.
At first, it was 20 here and there.
But before long, he was shelling out 100 on FIFA Points in an evening on a regular basis.
I go on sprees, he tells me.
I dont even care about my bank balance in those moments.
I just keep on going and going.
Normally Im a calm person, and Im not so impulsive.
But with FIFA, you just press a button and you get the reward.
Its on the tip of your finger.
The promise of that reward is what draws Gaurav out of bed while the rest of Dresden sleeps.
It does hamper my life, he says.
It affects my mood.
It affects how I am with other people.
I dont enjoy the Weekend League, but its all about FOMO [fear of missing out].
I dont want to miss a weekend because I might miss a good player.
She doesnt know about it at all, and I like it that way, he says.
I feel guilty sometimes thinking of how I am hiding it from her.
Its a huge amount of money.
I dont care what she does with her money, but its still something I keep secret from her.
I dont think she would like the idea.
And so it has been for much of the last eight years.
Its nothing, its just pixels on a screen.
Its going to be gone in a year, he sighs.
I could have gone for dinner with my wife, or I could have bought something real.
At the start of every FIFA I say Im not going to buy anything.
Then, I dont know how it starts, but I just keep spending and spending and spending.
Its something that Im really stuck in and I dont know how to get out of it.
I spent 100 on FIFA Points the day before yesterday, he continues.
I actually have no idea what to do.
It would be called FIFA Ultimate Team.
Its safe to say it took off.
These similarities appear to be reflected in Zendles results.
Actually, a lot of stuff when it comes to randomised reward schemes isnt rational.
That way he could guarantee getting a good player, right?
Well, it would violate the terms of service, Gaurav informs me.
But mostly, opening packs is a lot more fun.
You get more of a high.
Theres that word again.
Even more pertinently,early indicationsare that people who purchase loot boxes undergo similar increases in physiological arousal.
Ive also got a better sense of what went on in my own past.
Because, not so long ago, I was addicted too.
But with every weekend came the Weekend League.
It was a routine, and it was something I was good at.
And the more you play, the less you have to spend to get that hit.
And so I played.
I played and I played and I played.
On Friday, Saturday and Sunday, I was on FIFA for far longer than I was sleeping.
And thats what Ive found while Ive been talking to people for this piece.
These are normal people with normal jobs and at least at one point normal social lives.
Cristian is 27 and lives in New York.
Its like a drug.
So yes, it has contributed to a bad mental state.
Much like Gaurav, Cristian keeps his habit a secret from friends and family.
Nobody knows that I spend this kind of money, he says.
My girlfriend thinks I have only spent a little bit.
These are not freak cases.
There are people everywhere living secret double lives that their family and friends dont know about.
But is there any chance of the UK following Belgium in banning these loot boxes?
Change on the cards?
One complication is simply the straightforward one of money.
In-game purchases are a key source of funding he explains.
They basically said to the government Dont start doing anything.
Let us see what we can do.
And thats what theyve gone away to do.
But of course, everything has gone relatively quiet since then.
Indeed, a year on from the governments decision, and the UK finds itself in the same position.
An industry in which popular FIFA YouTubers have been finedhundreds of thousands of pounds for promoting unregulated gamblingto children.
Despite this, when I speak to him now, Collins disagrees with Foster.
I look at it as a kind of last chance, he says.
But he does concede that if they cant, I think well need to review this again pretty soon.
2023 is a momentous year for the FIFA franchise.
Some of the most optimistic players hoped the new era would do away with packs.
We talk about his holiday, his new job and how he thinks Manchester United will do next season.
And then he drops another piece of news in.
Oh, and Ive stopped playing FIFA.
The whole thing had just become too much.
Too much money, too many sleepless nights, too many secrets.
He decided that he wouldn’t pre-ordering EA Sports FC 24.
Suddenly, a whole new potential future path has opened up.
Maybe Gaurav will be able to kick his habit for good.
But there are other endings to this story.
Andreas* is 25 and lives in the North East of England.
Ive been spending money on FIFA for a decade.
It started as about 10 here or there but then became 20 every week.
Ive spent thousands for sure, he continues.
Im speaking to him just after the release of the new game.
My next question is the elephant in the room has he bought it?
Maybe Im wrong to doubt him.
Maybe he really will develop a healthier relationship with these micro-transactions.
But Ive seen this pattern before, not least in myself.
Theres always a chance it will get out of hand again, he adds.
But Im hoping Ill be more reserved.
The reality is that, even if not for Andreas, the cycle will continue for many players.
*Not his real name.
