It earned a laugh of grim recognition from the audience, all survivors of that terrible climb.
Starting out in Eve isnt so much a question of learning the controls as it is another birth.
Its hard to explain to new players that there isnt a right thing to do next.
They somehow manage to come out the other end with three black eyes.
Were just really good at not allowing them to experience the awesome that Eve is.
Its not that developer CCP hasnt been trying.
Over the years, the Icelandic studio has made numerous attempts to soften the curve, with mixed results.
But every time weve tried new things, weve learned something new, Finnbogason says.
CCP started asking staff in HR and finance to sit down and log into Eve for the first time.
They watched as these space babies crashed into walls.
It was just really hard to understand Eve, Finnbogason says.
I think we had 135 different buttons in the game.
We taught the blue OK button, and then it was pink and round.
These NPC stageshows arent what hardcore Eve is like, of course.
That remains to be seen.
But these efforts have yielded some measurable results.
In 2018, the median time for a first session in Eve was 13 minutes.
Now its 27 minutes.
And so thats what Azariah has been doing ever since.
Im the Flying Dutchman of the game, doomed to wander these spaceways and help out.
Azariah complains with a smile on his face.
As a retired teacher, hes hardwired to try and show new arrivals the ropes.
Learning is in my blood and in my bones, he says.
And so new player experience is something Ive worked hard with CCP on.
If they ask questions, I will answer questions, he says.
If they ask what a good corp to join is, I say, that depends.
But as CCP has determined, and as the School Bus driver agrees, there are no easy solutions.
Its like the wild west - you step out of the saloon, someone can open fire.
It would be considered cheap and cheesy, but there are people who like being cheap and cheesy.
The question, then, is how to arm newcomers to face a hostile world.
Eve players are experts at weaponising any new addition to the game, regardless of its intended purpose.
Sometimes theyve ignored us, and found out.
They exist and thats their gameplay.
But theyre not thinking long-term.
Im not doing the Magic Schoolbus to build an organisation or worshippers.
Im doing that because I love the game.
I do what I do because thats my gameplay: to help the game survive long-term.
Because more players equals more content, and equals a better game.
Rather, its last weeks announcement ofimprovements to factional warfare.
Factional warfare is the bridge, Finnbogason agrees.
Thats the thing that will connect these two things.
Id never really gone full-force into them, he says.
Thats ten years after I started playing.
Ten years in and Im trying a new playstyle.
So in many ways, the new player experience really never ends.
