I need it so much.

Most of our readers, I understand, already live their lives like cool cyberpunk outsiders.

You’re living tomorrow, today, and I’m happy for you.

A photo of the Swiss Army Presentation Master knife, which has a laser pointer, USB thumb drive, and Bluetooth remote control.

But won’t someone think of The Man?

A perfectly optimised gadget.

Not a gram wasted.

A photo of the Swiss Army Midnite Manager@work knife with tools folded out.

Now that’s what I call megacorpin'.

It cuts me up that Victorinox discontinued this knife a decade before I even knew it existed.

The Midnite Manager@work is a knife for fakers.

It’s an affront to real cyberpunks like me.

Two shimmering blue non-eutactic blades would pop out between index and middle fingers, operated with a snipping gesture.