“Visions of snake”

PlayingElden Ringbefore its official launch was an honest experience.

I’d flick the game online and see a few messages scrawled on the ground in glowing chalk.

Since the game’s release, the player messages have taken on a different complexion.

An Elden Ring player faces the camera, with a player message that reads, “fort, night” obscuring their eyes.

Before, I trusted in our small community trying its best to get by.

Now I must treat every message with caution as they fight amongst themselves.

You might think getting your hands onElden Ringbefore its launch would be super cool and super awesome.

Cover image for YouTube video

While it was both of these things, it was also super terrifying.

Loads of others were in the same boat (more like deathly gondola eh?

wink wink nudge nudge) and we’d all leave messages to help each other out.

An Elden Ring player stands next to a ghostly jellyfish and reads a player message that says, “horse”.

And if you’re unfamiliar with Souls' messaging service, then here’s the deal.

In the pre-release period, almost all of the messages scrawled on the floor were helpful.

Constant warnings and directions from a small community of Elden Ringers just trying to get by.

An Elden Ring player sees a small pole jutting out of the ground with the messages, “If only I had a giant… But hole…” written next to it.

Eventually, I got to the point where offline mode felt rather lonely and I’d get FOMO.

Fast forward to now and Elden Ring’s world is awash with messages of… varying quality.

Approachanyladder and you’ll find “visions of snake” written next to them.

An Elden Ring players reads the message “lever” next to a lever.

Because its like the board game Snakes and Ladders.

Up!To your mums house!.

In Elden Ring’s system this is not possible.

An Elden Ring player reads the message, “O you don’t have the right, by the way you don’t have the right, O you don’t have the right”.

All I can do is downvote or turn my nostrils up in disgust and move on.

There are, however, terrible messages which make for a good laugh.

Many of them are absolute grot, which appeals to my juvenile sense of humour.

Lots of If only I had pickle when literally any statue has its back turned.

Head makes an appearance whenever theres any kneeling statue or massive head, I suppose.

Sometimes, Elden Ring players go from relentlessly horny to longing for a partner.

In Elden Ring, any animal can be labelled a dog.

But Ive come to appreciate the less prevalent lever left next to levers.

They are the perfect message: informative, simple, dreadfully obvious.

The football chant remains my favourite genre of Elden Ring message, though.

Youll encounter these when turning your camera to face towers or magical gateways without obvious entry points.

Some performing the “tosser” hand motion just to rub it in.

There is something remarkably creative about the finest player messages.

And they dont hold back.

Once something sticks, the repetition helps cement them as a good joke.

But I really dont mind the awful chat.

The very act of processing messages can also serve as a reminder to buckle up and watch yourself.

I genuinely can’t see myself every playing in offline mode.

I’ve grown to love the buzz of terrible patter whenever I sit down for an Elden Ring drubbing.